Monologue of a humble man

(Oleg, one of the characters of the series Crater)

With Yegor and Alexey, we went to the same school. We were all different, but our love for physics united us.

Our school was the Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology (MIPT). Who in those years lived in the USSR knew that it was the most desirable for those who wanted to do science. Therefore, the competition for admission there – up to thirty candidates per placement. The best graduates of the high school went there.

In our group, fourteen out of sixteen students were awarded with the high school gold medals, which means they got “A” only all the three years. Any university welcomed them without examinations. But at MIPT, they had to pass mathematics in writing and orally, physics in writing and orally, and an essay in Russian. Finally, an interview with the selection committee completed the acceptance procedure. The requirements were very high.

After I had learned that I was accepted, I almost burst into tears. I didn’t do well on the entrance exams. The interview probably saved me. Because I really wanted to do physics and read a lot about it, studied, and thought. And at the interview I was asked exactly about this – about my dream. Although I normally don’t like to talk about myself – that was how I was brought up – during the interview, I seemed to be carried away. I do not know why. Got excited, probably.

One scientist from the selection committee talked to me so kindly, as if we had known each other for a long time. Well, I opened up to him. And they, as I now understand, were looking for those who were committed to do science, not just those who studied well and practiced solving school problems. Or maybe they just liked me. Well, I don’t know. Anyway, I still feel compelled to prove being worthy of their trust and do something useful in science.

To contribute to science is not easy, though. There are more than enough guys there smarter than me. Actually, I don’t consider myself particularly smart. I have endurance. I study all the time – more than anyone else. I sleep less than others and hardly have any fun. It has always been that way. Yegor, for example, or Alexey, they absorbed knowledge on the fly, almost without studying. Well, their grades were worse than mine, they studied much less. They read fiction books, wrote poems, sang songs with a guitar, went to the cinema, to the theater, to concerts – they did whatever their fancy told them. And I plowed all this time. It’s good that I have such a character – not envious at all. Otherwise, I would just be worn out.

And they treated me fairly too. Although they laughed at those who “conquer science with the stone butt” – who spend a lot of time studying. They divided all students into “freemen” (those who study minimally and live actively outside the school, as they do), “diggers” (those who like to ask questions for the questions sake, but do not become more knowledgeable from this), “slaves ”(those who study a lot, devoting themselves to science), and “stalkers” (rare talents who walk the field of science intuitively and achieve remarkable results without working hard; it is a popular myth among the young people). Of course, they considered themselves stalkers, but called themselves freemen. In their eyes, I was a slave.

But they were good friends. Well, Yegor could say something marginally not nice for the sake of a joke and offend, not wanting to. But Alexey was more sensitive and always very sympathetic. We lived with him in the same room all six years of the school and did not try to settle into rooms for one, despite the fact that because of Alexey’s kindness a lot of people gathered in our room almost every day and I had to spend a lot of time in the library.

And other guys were good. And the girls too. There were very few of them – only two girls for sixteen people in the group. Everyone was surprisingly friendly despite the fact that everyone was a star of the high school. All were winners of many school Olympics in different subjects. And Yegor was also the national medalist in the track and field decathlon and played and sang the guitar well. Alexey wrote good poetry and knew poetry of all times and peoples almost by memory. As for me, I did not do sports, did not have musical ear, did not write poetry, did not dance. I just studied.

Hard working people are rarely recognized as achievers. The ability to grasp knowledge seemingly on the fly commands much more attention and respect. How unfair it is that people are recognized as achievers only for their abilities and talents they got by chance, from birth. People admire attractive appearance and confidence, even if the person did not actually produce anything significant.

Those who achieve something by hard work get recognition much later – after the results were acquired bit by bit. And then everyone is surprised that such an incapable person has managed to do something useful. “He probably just got lucky” serves as a typical conclusion. And if the supposed talents delivered nothing, they are excused by “probably being not lucky”, while the real reason was that these “poor fellows” just did not work enough.

I am not complaining. What can one do if this is how our society behaves, fueled by the energy generated by illusions? Everyone wants everything at once without paying. No one dreams of small results obtained with a lot of work. Even the Bible, the mainstay of many moralists, speaks of getting bread “by the sweat of your brow” as a punishment. That’s how we teach our children.

But if you think about it, I’m lucky too. I realized early on that I had no special talents and that people value others for the ease of achievement. So, I started to work hard and hide “the sweat of my brow.” Only the closest friends noticed this and considered me a slave. But I’m not offended. It’s true.

By the end of my studies at the institute, however, I managed to work out so much that neither Alexey, nor Yegor could show as many results. I became an independent scientist, surpassing them in depth of understanding and in applications. My thesis was a practical contribution to solving a significant technical problem.

In fact, it became clear already during our first practice work in a research institute, when we were yet junior at school. Yegor and Alexey, as usual, were chosen to participate in the most prestigious theoretical group that simulated human thinking. And I was put in charge of programming the life support system of the orbital station. A year later, however, my name appeared in the list of authors of a very useful subsystem, and I had already done my diploma based on my own work and was soon published as the only author. As for Yegor and Alexey, they still haven’t seen their name in print.

The same situation was in the handball team, in which we all participated. Yegor and Alexey played center and were tightly blocked. I, meanwhile, played the left wing and brought the team as many points as the two of them. Well, of course, no one except me noted this. Once again, it confirmed to me the correctness of my decision to work hard and not show it. If you strive not for fleeting glory, but for long-term results, of course.

Nowadays I have already my degree and my laboratory. And Yegor and Alexey work for me. And I no longer notice any injustice. Because everything fell into place. I wouldn’t even talk about it if you didn’t ask.